6 Lies We Tell Ourselves That Keep Us Unhappy and How to Overcome Them!
How many times you have tricked yourself into believing that you can’t do something?
A lot right? Just the other day, I saw one riding one of Razor scooters through Tempe, and I immediately thought NOPE! I became all high and mighty and listed all the reasons I wouldn’t ride one:
I have two legs
I’d rather walk
I’d rather bike
I don’t know how to ride one
What if I fall?
And most of the time the lies we tell ourselves are keeping us small and life unexciting! That’s our ego, that little shit likes to exacerbate our fears and repeat them in our minds whenever we attempt to make changes that get us closer to our dreams.
I gave into that scooter, and my boyfriend and I had a great time riding through Tempe. Yes, I have two legs, and I could have biked, but this was fun too!
But our fears come in so many different forms, and i’m sure this sounds familiar?
How many times have you woken up in the morning ready to start the day, so you can finally make it to the gym like you’ve been telling yourself to do for the last three months, and as you’re about to remove the sheets, something calls you to close your eyes for just one more minute!
Next thing you know, you’re jumping out of bed like a mad woman because one minute turned into one hour and if you don’t leave right now, you’ll be late for work… again! In your frenzy, you somehow manage to dirty up the place like a college frat party.
Then on the drive to work, you beat yourself up for not waking up, for not getting out of bed, for not going to bed earlier, for drinking too much and on and on. It’s like listening to a playlist of your most hated songs!
But the truth is in order to create space we must notice when we tell ourselves these false truths so we can learn to ignore them and take inspired action. Most of the time, we don’t even know that they’re there, and to transform our lives we must break through these limitations.
Here are the lies we tell ourselves daily - know them, ignore them, and do the opposite of what they say!!
I’m not ready
Just like we tell ourselves we’re not ready to get out bed. “I’m not ready,” holds us back from achieving the greatest things in life. I’m not kidding! It legit stops us from enjoying true pleasures!
We use “I’m not ready” on a daily basis, whether it’s not to go to that Yoga class, or go into the ocean, or try painting for the first time. And it’s our go-to when we decide that we want to declutter our homes. How do you overcome the fear? ? First, remember why you want to accomplish that thing. Next, imagine how it would feel if you actually achieved that.
For example, I recently joined Aerial Yoga.
Why: to experience something different and to be honest, it’s freaking amazing to do Cirque du Soleil type of moves!!
How would it feel to reach Cirque du Soleil status? PHENOMENAL. Legit sky high self-love and self-worth.
There I am, in my third class EVER, and the teacher begins doing this amazing sequence where she lifts herself up by her pinkies, then beautifully stands, and hangs by legit the ankles of her feet, in which after she uses her core to do the biggest ab crunch I’ve ever seen in real life, to then lower herself like an angel. I was awe-struck, mouth open, partly giggling in amazement until she said. “You’re all going to do this!”
My giggle turned into a full on belly laugh and my brain immediately gives me a classic Simon Cowell look. Proceeded by “You’re not ready. You just started aerial yoga three days ago. What makes you think you can do this? “
Well, you know what I did? I used the Mel Robbins 5 second rule to get me going. When my little asshole said “Nope, you are not ready for that! You’re gonna get hurt. You’re gonna fail! You wont even make it up there!”
I said, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1” and I did the damn thing. I launched myself into action!
Did I do the whole entire sequence? NOPE. I made it to the hanging, but somehow managed to get untied. Ha! But did I go a lot further than I thought I would, F YES!
Now it’s your turn. Jump into the pool, begin decluttering, go to the yoga class, and start painting. Don’t have any expectations, just DO IT! Marvel at your gloriousness!
I’m not enough
How many times have you looked for a job, and immediately thought nope! That’s not me. I can’t do that. I don’t have the skills, the requirements, the years, the whatever BS expectations for people to have.
You don’t know until you TRY! And to be honest you can probably get that job!! Because you do have the experience and knowledge, but women feel like we need to have all our eggs in a row, all our I’s and T’s dotted. All the punctuation corrected and reviewed multiple times because if we don’t show up perfect that automatically means we’re not enough.
But girlfriend you are!
When you’re feeling like you’re not enough, list all of your LITTLE accomplishments- YES, even if it’s
I woke up today.
I put away the cream after I had my coffee.
I remembered to make my bed.
I called my bestie when I really needed some girlfriend time.
I went outside!
Then list all of your amazing big accomplishments like
all my job offers were received within hours of my interviews
I make a delicious fried tofu
I had an epic 25th birthday and everyone I love was there
I’ve created a Facebook page with over 8k women sharing things that I love and inspire me
I’ve had thousands of visits to my blog posts
I’ve helped people through life!!!
I freaking have mean dance moves!
After you write your lists, RELISH in them. Feel into all of those feelings - how good it felt and how amazing and talented you truly. When you’re in that superwomen mode, launch into action! 5-4-3-2-1!
Apply for that job. Wear that outfit! Speak your mind. Start the blog. DO IT!
I don’t have time
You’re at the store, and you see the community bulletin board, and there’s a dance class. It lights you up, your eyes get big and shiny like a kid who just got a puppy, but then your mind interjects and says, “you don’t have enough time. you’re so busy. you can barely wash your hair a few times a week.”
And then you walk away just giving into your brain-like you always do.
Let’s get things straight. I’m going to be super honest here!
We all have 24 hours every day. And every day you CHOOSE what you do with your time.
That’s right, what you do with your time is YOUR CHOICE. Does it mean you have to be any less responsible? Does it mean you don’t go to work? Absolutely not, you need to live and be self-sustainable, but it for sure as hell means you:
can go to work at 9, take an hour break, and go home at five
don’t spend so much time on your phone or social media or tv
go to bed earlier
stop giving other people your time when they don’t have your best interest at heart
You will never have enough time unless you make time. Get with it, make the decision to give yourself the gift of time!
I don’t have money
We grow up to believe that wanting money is bad. It’s not bad!! It’s not this evil that keeps us poor and rich people rich. It’s actually a beautiful thing that supports the life we want. The life that makes us our happiest versions of ourselves. And if you want money, you need to cherish it, but also USE IT!
But if you’re in constant fear mode- fear that you don’t have it, or that you don’t have enough, well, honey, it’s going to feel like a burden!!
First, be responsible with money. Pay off your bills.
It will change your perspective on money and your life!
Then, say this:
“Money. money money money money money money. I love you. I love you for supporting me to be the best version of myself. Thank you for allowing me to connect with people and places, to have experiences, to show people I care by having enough money to put gas in my car so I can drive to celebrate a dear friend’s wonderful news. I appreciate that you’ve been able to support me in gaining knowledge about my passion, and helping me pursue my passions because it makes me the best me I can be!”
Now take a leap of faith “5-4-3-2-1,” and do the damn thing! Sign up for school, commit to Aerial Yoga for 30 days, buy those jeans you will wear every day because it makes you feel like a million bucks, pay off your student debt with your tax return so it’s no longer a burden and you’re free to do more things you love!
I’m to scared
This one ties everything together. This is the one that turns into anxiety and overwhelm. We could be afraid of watching the sunrise if we let fear lead - because it tells us about overexposure can lead to cancer, but then we can let it tell us that underexposure can lead to cancer. So we’re stuck in a loop to fear everything.
In order to stop this bad boy from taking over, it’s truly about asking yourself, do I want to stay where I am or do I want more for my life?
Once you decide to leave your comfort zone, you’ll begin to create wonderful abundance in all aspects of your life. You just have to do the work to get there!
This Blog has made me scared. I am still scared. What if people don’t like it? What if my grammar sucks? What if people don’t like me?
And you know what? There are people who don’t like it. And yes, my grammar isn’t this best. And I am pretty sure there are people who just don’t like me either, But so what!
I don’t claim to be perfect. I don’t claim to have all the answers. But I’m sharing my truth and If people don’t like it - it’s not my job to try and change them!
“your job isn't to make people understand you. your job is to understand yourself.”
You have to do it- even if it scares you. You have to do it especially when it scares you. This is why people take cold showers- not because they want to! Hot showers feel so good, but they take cold showers to prepare them for the unknown. To shock them into breathing before they take this leap of faith.
They don’t jump out of planes because everyone does it, but because it reminds them what it feels like to be alive.
Discomfort will make you stronger, wiser, happier, and it will help you sleep better because you’re pushing yourself to your max (and let’s face it - it gets tiring!)
When you’re scared, ask yourself “If I do this, will I be closer to my dream?”
And if the answer is yes,
use that momentum to push you out of that comfortable bed,
allow you to hang from your feet in an Aerial yoga position (even if it’s your third class),
inspire you to go to bed earlier so you can finally make it to that dance class,
motivate you to finally take that art sculpting class that costs $1,000 (because you’ve been saving forever and never spending),
and most importantly influence you to stand up for yourself, ask for that promotion, jump out of that plane -
Simply because you don’t want to live a mediocre life. Because you want to live fully!
When have you taken inspired action in the face of fear and how has that made your life better?