6 Lies We Tell Ourselves That Keep Us Unhappy and How to Overcome Them!
How many times you have tricked yourself into believing that you can’t do something?
A lot right? Just the other day, I saw someone riding a Razor scooter through Tempe, and I immediately thought, “NOPE! I’m not going to do that!” I became high and mighty and listed all the reasons I wouldn’t ride one:
I have two legs
I’d rather walk
I’d rather bike
I don’t know how to ride one
What if I fall?
That’s my ego, that little shit likes to exacerbate our fears and repeat them in our minds whenever we attempt to make changes that get us closer to living.
Instead of falling trap to those lies, I decided to take action.
Do you know what happened? I had an amazing time riding through Tempe at 10 mph! Yes, I have two legs, and I could have biked, but this was fun too!
But our fears come in so many different forms
How many times have you tried to wake up early and go to the gym? As you’re about to remove the sheets to jump out of bed, something calls you to close your eyes for one more minute
And like the last three months, you wake up in a frenzy because that minute turned into an hour. Next you’re scurrying out of your apartment while you manage to dirty up your place to a the maximum level of college frat party.
On the drive to work, you begin to beat yourself, and it goes a little something like this: Why didn’t I get out of bed? What didn’t I go to bed earlier? Why didn’t I stop at one drink? All of the the shoulds are playing like the soundtrack of your most hated songs.
But the truth is in order to create space we must notice when our hesitations come up, so we can ignore them and learn to take action. Moving towards the fear allows us to take control of our lives.
Here are the lies we tell ourselves daily - know them, ignore them, and do the opposite of what they say!!
I’m not ready
Just like we tell ourselves we’re not ready to get out bed. “I’m not ready,” holds us back from achieving the greatest things in life. I’m not kidding! It stops us from enjoying true pleasure!
We use “I’m not ready” on a daily basis, whether it’s not to go to that Yoga class, or go into the ocean, or try painting for the first time. And it’s our go-to when we decide to declutter our homes.
How do you overcome the fear? ? First, remember why you want to accomplish that goal. Next, imagine how it would feel if you actually achieved that goal.
For example, I recently joined Aerial Yoga.
Why: to experience something different and to be honest, i would love to look like a Cirque du Soleil performer!!
How would it feel to reach Cirque du Soleil status? PHENOMENAL. Sky high self-love and self-worth.
There I am, in my third class EVER, and the teacher begins doing this amazing sequence where she is inverted and hanging from her ankles, then without breaking a sweat uses her core to do the biggest ab crunch I’ve ever seen in real life, to then lower herself like an angel into a crazy move I can’t even describe. I was awe-struck, mouth open, partly giggling in amazement until she said. “You’re all going to do this!”
My giggle turned into a full on belly laugh and my brain immediately gives me a classic Simon Cowell look. Proceeded by “You’re not ready. You just started aerial yoga three days ago. What makes you think you can do this? “
Well, you know what I did? I used the Mel Robbins 5 second rule to get me going. When my little asshole said “Nope, you are not ready for that! You’re gonna get hurt. You’re gonna fail! You won’t even make it up there!”
I said, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1” and I did the damn thing. I launched myself into action!
Did I do the whole entire sequence? NOPE. I made it to the hanging but somehow managed to get untied. Ha! But did I go a lot further than I thought I would, F YES!
Now it’s your turn. Jump into the pool, begin decluttering, go to the yoga class, and start painting. Don’t have any expectations, just DO IT! Marvel at your gloriousness!
I’m not enough
How many times have you looked for a job, and immediately thought nope! That’s not me. I can’t do that. I don’t have the skills, the requirements, the years, the whatever BS expectations?
You don’t know until you TRY! And to be honest you can probably get that job!! Because you do have the experience and knowledge, but women feel like we need to have all our eggs in a row, all our I’s dotted and T’s crossed. All the punctuation corrected and reviewed multiple times because if we don’t show up perfect that automatically means we’re not enough.
But girlfriend you are!
When you’re feeling like you’re not enough, list all of your LITTLE accomplishments- YES, even if it’s
I woke up today.
I put away the cream after I had my coffee.
I remembered to make my bed.
I called my bestie when I really needed some girlfriend time.
I went outside!
Then list all of your amazing big accomplishments like
all my job offers were received within hours of my interviews
I make a delicious fried tofu
I had an epic 25th birthday and everyone I love was there
I’ve created a Facebook page with over 8k women sharing things that I love and inspire me
I’ve had thousands of visits to my blog posts
I’ve helped people through life!!!
I have mean dance moves!
After you write your lists, RELISH in them. Feel into all of those feelings - how good it felt and how amazing and talented you are. When you’re in that superwomen mode, launch into action! 5-4-3-2-1!
Apply for that job. Wear that outfit! Speak your mind. Start the blog. DO IT!
I don’t have time
You’re at the store, and the community bulletin board has a sign for a hip-hop dance class. It lights you up, your eyes get big and shiny like a kid who just got a puppy, but your mind interjects and says, “you don’t have enough time. you’re so busy. you can barely wash your hair a few times a week.”
And you walk away giving into your brain-like you always do.
Let’s get things straight.
We all have 24 hours every day. And every day you CHOOSE what you do with your time.
That’s right, what you do with your time is YOUR CHOICE. Does it mean you have to be any less responsible? Does it mean you don’t go to work? Absolutely not. You need to live and be self-sustainable, but it for sure as hell means you:
can go to work at 9, take an hour break, and go home at five
spend less time on your phone, computer, or tv
go to bed earlier
stop giving other people your time when they don’t have your best interest at heart
can ask for help so you can get some time back. Ask someone to watch the kids or ask someone to help you to cook. If there’s no one, you can try a food subscription service or get your groceries delivered.
You will never have enough time unless you make time. Get with it, make the decision to give yourself the gift of time!
I don’t have money
We grow up to believe that wanting money is bad. It’s not bad!! It’s not this evil that keeps us poor and rich people rich. It’s actually a beautiful thing that supports the life we want. The life that makes us our happiest versions of ourselves. And if you want money, you need to cherish it, but also USE IT!
But if you’re in constant fear mode- fear that you don’t have it, or that you don’t have enough, well, honey, it’s going to feel like a burden!!
First, be responsible with money. Pay off your bills.
It will change your perspective on money and your life!
Then, say this:
“Money. money money money money money money. I love you. I love you for supporting me to be the best version of myself. Thank you for allowing me to connect with people and places. Thank you for the gas money to visit people and show them that I care. I appreciate that you’ve been able to support me in gaining knowledge about my passion, and helping me pursue my dreams because it makes me the best version of me I can be!”
Now take a leap of faith “5-4-3-2-1,” and do the damn thing! Sign up for school, commit to Aerial Yoga for 30 days, buy those jeans you will wear every day because it makes you feel like a million bucks, pay off your student debt with your tax return so it’s no longer a burden and you’re free to do more things you love!
I’m too scared
This one ties everything together. This is the fear that turns into anxiety and overwhelm. We could be afraid of watching the sunrise if we let fear lead - because it says overexposure of the sun can cause cancer (which it does), but will also say under-exposure to the sun can lead to cancer. Which leaves us stuck in a loop of fear.
In order to stop this bad boy from taking over, it’s truly about asking yourself, do I want to stay where I am or do I want more for my life?
Once you decide to leave your comfort zone, you’ll begin to create abundance in all aspects of your life. You just have to do the work to get there!
This blog has made me scared. I am still scared. What if people don’t like it? What if my grammar sucks? What if people don’t like me?
And you know what? There are people who don’t like it. And yes, my grammar isn’t this best. And I am pretty sure there are people who just don’t like me either, But so what!
I don’t claim to be perfect. I don’t claim to have all the answers. But I’m sharing my truth and If people don’t like it - it’s not my job to try and change them!
“your job isn't to make people understand you. your job is to understand yourself.”
You have to do it- even if it scares you. You have to do it, especially when it scares you. This is why people take cold showers- not because they want to! Hot showers feel good, but they take cold showers to prepare them for the unknown. To shock them into breathing before they take this leap of faith.
They don’t jump out of planes because everyone does it, but because it reminds them of what it feels like to be alive.
Discomfort will make you stronger, wiser, happier, and it will help you sleep better because you’re pushing yourself to your max (and let’s face it - it gets tiring! But it’s the good tired).
When you’re scared, ask yourself “If I do this, will I be closer to my dream?”
And if the answer is yes,
use that momentum to push you out of that comfortable bed,
allow yourself to hang from your feet in an Aerial yoga position (even if it’s your third class),
go to bed earlier so you can finally make it to that dance class,
spend the $1,000 for that art sculpting class you’ve been eyeing
stand up for yourself, ask for that promotion, jump out of that plane - do whatever you tell yourself you're not worthy of because you won’t know until you do
Simply because you don’t want to live a mediocre life. Because you want to live fully!
When have you taken inspired action in the face of fear and how has that made your life better?