As I was making breakfast this morning, I dropped a freshly peeled avocado half on the floor.
As I tried to catch the avocado, I yelled: "God, you are so stupid!"
It's hard to believe how hard I am on myself. If it were anyone else, like the BF, I would be like "oh, no worries babe, let me just wash it off quick." Squeeze lemon juice for extra sanitation and let the day move on because dropping an avo on the floor isn't a big deal.
Then there are the more significant mistakes. Like when I misplaced the title of our car and wrecked our apartment trying to find it. With every paper and file opened and yelled and cursed for the world to hear how I was incompetent and utterly dumb for losing this sheet of paper.
I can't forget about the time when I fumbled through a presentation. Every word was coming out like Morse code dictation. You. Sound. Like. A. Kid. You. Have. Zero. Confidence. Just. Faint. Already. So. You. Can. Go. Home. Sick. You. Dumb. B!
It's no wonder whenever I read any articles on self-love that I immediately roll my eyes. How can I show myself that I care when I can't even talk to myself with an ounce of Tender Love & Care?
So before you create a hygge corner in your home or draw a relaxing bath, start your self-care routine with these simple tips!
Be Patient With Yourself
In a world when it's cool to be busy and overworked, it's easy to feel like we're not doing enough.
We are human. We can't and nor should we try to do it "all" in one day.
Next time you find yourself getting upset because you left a few minutes late or dropped the avo, ask yourself is this event worth getting upset or angry?
Is this something you are going to remember tomorrow, a week, a month or a year from now?
If you answered no, maybe you can finally cut yourself some slack, and focus your energy on more valuable tasks.
Going back to the "lost" car title, as the world would have it, that one sheet of paper just so happened to fall behind my dresser. I had it ready, in advanced, and by the magic of a door closing or a gust of wind blowing through our apartment, it blew that one sheet of paper behind the dresser.
If I was a bit more patient with myself, I might not have had the panic attack and approached looking for the title with calm.
Speak kindly to yourself
Countless studies prove the benefits of positive self-talk. It helps us focus on the moment, and it contributes to self-empowerment particularly when we're in stressful situations.
It's time to let go of the self-shaming and love yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful smart and worthy of kindness. Leave yourself notes to remind you that you are talented and confident. Listen to self-guided meditations that reminds us how talented we really are!
Inundating our brains with messages of positive affirmations rewires the negativity we learned from our lives. Removing fear and replacing any form of it with confidence. That presentation might have turned out a bit differently too!
We all want to be our best selves. Share our best moments. Live our best lives. However, when we make mistakes, we tend to hold onto these bad boys for years to come.
Keeping these emotions of regret or shame locked inside our hearts prevent us from enjoying the present or taking action to succeed. Or in some cases, it keeps us tied to our things and prohibits us from decluttering.
Take a moment to accept the past, share our so-called mistakes with others, and learn to forgive yourself. Breaking free from the past gives us the chance card to our lives. We don't get to "pass go" or "collect $200", but we will sure as hell feel lighter. And that my friends is worth a lot more than any sum of money.
I know from experience. Verbally shitting on myself because I dropped an avocado is totally unacceptable. Beating myself up because mother nature blew the paper I needed was uncalled for and blown out of proportion. Trying to be an intelligent presenter who doesn't mess up is just not in my skillset, but it's who I am.
Setting expectations to be perfect or portray me perfectly are unachievable standards. So when we don't meet the expectation, our body and mind set-off the alarm bells and the sirens screaming "You Failed" "You're An Idiot," "I Told you So!"
When we don't forgive ourselves for being human for accepting our imperfections, those negative feelings are validated and become truth. But deep down inside we know that it's not true. Learn to forgive and accept the good and the bad.
So what does this have to do with decluttering?
I see it all the time in every decluttering facebook group. We are our own worst enemy. We calculate every step and are unforgiving when we fumble. We scrutinize and judge ourselves worst than a convicted criminal.
Decluttering is a process, and we can't let go until we learn to take care of ourselves. Until we learn how to forgive ourselves. Until we learn how to love ourselves!
Now that you've learned the easiest ways to start a self-love routine think about how you might incorporate them into your everyday routine. Replace "you're so stupid" with "I love myself so much!" or "I'm freaking awesome" because you are! Remind yourself there is no such thing as perfect, especially when it comes to decluttering! Every step you take, every action that gets you closer to your clearing goal is enough. And always always forgive yourself.
If you don't have a self-care routine, do you think you can implement these easy tips to start today? How do you think it will impact you decluttering?
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